Why does it seem like time stops when times are most difficult? When the rain comes down and I have nothing to prevent me from getting wet.
When the temperature drops and I’m still soaked. Will I lose myself and get internal? Or will I find a way to keep warm?
What happens when the sun starts to go away and you’ve been waiting for the clouds to disappear all day? You freeze where you’re at with nothing dry in your possession. Eventually your body heat will dry certain areas of your blouse and trousers. But it doesn’t matter anymore because I’ve gone Internal. If the enemy strikes, will I get up and fire back? Or will I lay here and allow myself to be devoured by the bullets? Will the adrenaline rush be enough? Will I even care if I live or die? My mind is a place of chaos and it’s constantly at war. So maybe when it comes to it my muscle memory will take the reins. Or I’ll completely throw away everything because of the stupid pain…
Before I go, tell me that I’ll make it to heaven because if I don’t know for sure then I’ll fight to stay in this world.
Before I go tell me the truth. Everything you’ve been hiding from me. Just let me know.
Before I go tell me that you love me so that when I close my eyes you are what I see.
And as you look into my eyes I want you to see how frail I really am.
I’ll try to remain strong but in the end I want you to see me for me.
I might act strong but deep down I know I’m not.
Look at me.
No, stare at me.
Stare into my soul and I’ll state all my weaknesses. Look into my eyes but not just the surface. Look at all my flaws and accept them. Accept me for who I am.
Take me.
Not just to a certain place but to permanently safe place in your arms. Take me completely. Not just a piece of me but all of me. Take my entire essence.
Just Me 